Key takeaways
- The basic rule: parents pay for needs, kids pay for wants. School supplies, clothes, transportation and food are on you – candy, trading cards, movies and extras come out of the allowance.
- What kids pay for grows with age: small treats at 4–7, movies, snacks and gifts for friends at 11–13, and from 14 parts of clothing and phone costs.
- From about 14, a budget allowance works well: costs like clothing or phone extras are converted into a monthly amount and paid on top of the regular allowance.
- School supplies, basic necessities and punishments never belong on the allowance – otherwise it stops being money your child is free to decide about.
“You can buy that with your own allowance” – a line said in nearly every family, and one that starts an argument in nearly every family, because nobody ever said what the allowance is actually for. So what should kids pay for with allowance, and what not? The answer is simpler than the arguments suggest. There is one principle, a list by age and a handful of gray areas you settle once. After that, the line comes up less often – and when it does, without a fight.
The principle: allowance is for wants, not needs
The rule is short: parents pay for needs, kids pay for wants. Everything a child needs to live, go to school and take part is your job – food, clothing, school supplies, the bus, sports fees. Everything your child wants on top of that is theirs – candy, trading cards, a third stuffed animal, the movie with friends.
That isn’t only about fairness; it is the point of an allowance. The youth welfare office of the German city of Nuremberg, which publishes a widely used allowance guideline, puts it plainly: allowance shouldn’t have to cover necessary purchases like school supplies, clothing or bus fare, or it loses its original purpose. The purpose is that your child practices decisions with money they are free to use. A child who has to pay for the bus out of their allowance isn’t deciding anything – they are just managing a shortfall.
The line between need and want shifts with age. A 5-year-old has no needs they should cover themselves. A 15-year-old has wants that are, in fact, needs – the jeans everybody wears, the phone without which the class group chat can’t reach them. That is why you need a list by age, and why the allowance goes up as the list gets longer.
What should kids pay for with allowance? The list by age
The table sorts the most common expenses by age group. “Negotiable” means there is no right answer – but you should pick one and say it out loud. The amounts that fit each age are in How much allowance by age. In the UK, the same logic applies to pocket money; the government-backed MoneyHelper service suggests talking with your child about whether it covers just a few extras or also things like trips out, clothes, phone bills or presents.
| Age | Kid pays from allowance | Parents pay | Negotiable |
|---|---|---|---|
| 4–7 | candy, gum, stickers, an ice cream on the go, small toys from a vending machine | everything else: food, clothes, birthday toys, outings, preschool and school needs | whether your child chips in toward a bigger wish (voluntary, never required) |
| 8–10 | plus: trading cards, magazines, small toys, snacks at the store, extras at the pool | school supplies, clothes, sports and activities, field trips, transportation, gifts for birthday parties | ice cream on a family outing, extra in-game currency, souvenirs on vacation |
| 11–13 | plus: movies with friends, fast food out, small gifts for friends, apps and games, extra cosmetics | phone plan, clothes, school supplies, bus pass, activities, family outings | top-up for brand-name clothes, a second pair of sneakers, concert tickets, a streaming subscription |
| 14–17 | plus: going out, eating out with friends, gifts, streaming, phone extras, cosmetics, hobby extras | basic clothing, school, food at home, insurance, basic phone plan | clothing via a budget allowance, phone costs via a budget allowance, help with driving lessons, trips with friends |
Two things stand out. First, the “parents pay” column doesn’t get shorter; it only changes character, from “everything” to “the basics”. Second, the “negotiable” column grows with age. That’s intended: the older your child, the more agreements you need, and the more of them your child should help shape. The AAP makes a similar point: allowance teaches more when kids are responsible for real things – buying some of their own clothes, paying for activities or food when they go out with friends, or saving up for the next game.
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Gray areas to settle once
Most conflicts don’t start over candy or schoolbooks, but somewhere in between. Here are the five most common gray areas and a suggestion for each.
Movies with friends. From about 11, out of allowance. Before that, the movies are an outing you pay for; once your child is in middle school, they are free time your child organizes. If the allowance doesn’t stretch, that is a reason to adjust the allowance – not to pay for the movie.
Gifts for friends. Until about 10, your job; from 11, a small gift out of allowance, bigger gifts still from you. A child who spends $5 of their own money on a best friend learns something no talk can teach.
Snacks. The snack you pack is a need. The second snack from the store because the first was boring is a want. Kids from elementary school on should know that difference – it is the easiest exercise in “need or want”.
Phone. The plan is in your name, so you pay for it – minors generally can’t be held to a contract, as What kids can buy with their own money explains. Everything on top is your child’s: in-app purchases, extra data, a glittery case. From 14, phone costs can move into a budget allowance.
Clothes. The basics – a jacket, shoes and pants that fit – are a need. The second jacket because the first is the wrong brand is a want. From about 13, a top-up works: you pay what a regular pair of jeans costs, your child pays the difference to the pair they want. From 14, a budget allowance settles the question for good.
Example
The Bakers agreed on a clothing budget with Lucas (13) – a year earlier than the age-14 guideline. They added up what they had spent on his clothes the year before: about $600, or $50 a month. Since January, Lucas gets those $50 on top of his $40 allowance, kept separate in his own savings account. He buys his own clothes; his parents weigh in when he asks. In the first month, he spent almost all of it on one pair of sneakers and wore his old jacket through the winter. By the second half of the year, he had $90 saved. For the Bakers, the fight about brand-name clothes is over.
If your child pays for more, the allowance has to go up
A common mistake: the list of what your child pays for gets longer – movies, gifts, snacks, phone extras – but the allowance stays where it was at 10. Then it doesn’t cover anything, your child keeps asking for more, and you feel they can’t handle money. In fact only the math is off.
The rule: every expense that moves onto the allowance brings its amount with it. If your child now buys gifts for friends, estimate what that costs in a year – six birthday parties at $10 each is $60, or $5 a month – and add it to the allowance. Same for the movies. That can push the allowance above the usual charts, and that’s fine, because the charts assume parents cover the needs.
From about 14, this becomes a model of its own: the budget allowance. The Nuremberg youth office recommends agreeing on one with teenagers from 14 – for clothing, school supplies, phone costs or eating out, for example. The math is simple: estimate the yearly cost, divide by twelve, pay it monthly on top of the allowance. Your teen then manages that budget on their own. What that looks like in family life is covered in Allowance for teenagers.
A special case is bigger wishes that don’t come up regularly: the console, the expensive skateboard, the festival ticket. It is tempting to raise the allowance “just a little”. A better route leaves the allowance untouched: extra jobs your child takes on for an agreed reward. In Pepp, families set these up as quests – clearing out the garage, cleaning the bikes, washing the car – and the reward is added to your child’s pot, a balance counter in the app, while the regular allowance is credited there automatically each month. No real money moves through the app; you pay out what the pot shows, in cash or into a savings account. The allowance stays what it is – a fixed amount, free to use, no conditions – and the big wish is earned, with progress your child can see.
What parents should never expect kids to pay for
Some things don’t belong on the allowance – not because the numbers wouldn’t work, but because they defeat the purpose.
- School supplies. Notebooks, books, pens, project materials, field trips. The Nuremberg guideline lists using allowance for these as a misuse that stops kids from learning anything.
- Basic necessities. Clothes that fit, shoes that don’t pinch, a warm coat. That is care, not a bargaining chip – also for teenagers who “already get enough”.
- Food at home and at school. The packed lunch, school lunch, dinner. A hungry child shouldn’t have to do math.
- Transportation. The bus pass to school, the ride to practice.
- Punishments and damages. Cutting allowance for a bad report card or a broken vase turns free money into leverage. If something was damaged on purpose, a contribution is fine – the Nuremberg guideline suggests paying it off in agreed installments over several weeks rather than stopping the allowance. How to handle consequences without touching the allowance is covered in Allowance rules.
- Offsetting cash gifts. If Grandma gives $20, the allowance doesn’t skip a week.
How to make the agreement
A list only helps if everyone knows it. The agreement doesn’t need to be long, but it should be said out loud – and for older kids, written down.
- Match age and list. Take the row from the table that fits your child and go through the “kid pays” column. Cross out what is different in your family, add what is missing.
- Decide the gray areas. Movies, gifts, snacks, phone, clothes: one answer for each that applies from now on. A clear imperfect rule beats five exceptions.
- Adjust the amount. Work out roughly what the “kid pays” items cost per month. If the allowance doesn’t cover that, raise it – or take items off the list. Either is better than a child who never has enough.
- Discuss it, don’t announce it. From about 10, your child can have a say: “Do you want to buy your friends’ gifts yourself? Then you get $5 more a month.” What your child helped decide, they stick to.
- Write it down and review once a year. A note on the fridge or in an app is enough. On each birthday, the next row of the table moves into the agreement – and the amount rises predictably with it.
Conclusion
What should kids pay for with allowance? Wants, not needs. Candy, trading cards, movies with friends, gifts, phone extras: your child pays for those, scaled by age. Food, clothes, school supplies, transportation and the basics are on you, at every age. As your child’s list grows, the allowance grows with it; from about 14, a budget allowance can hand over whole categories like clothing or phone costs. And three things stay off the allowance for good: school supplies, basic needs and punishments. Draw that line once and say it out loud, and you have settled the most common allowance argument.
Frequently asked questions
Should my child pay for school supplies?
No. Notebooks, pens, books, gym clothes and the calculator are needs, and you cover them as a parent. The youth welfare office of the German city of Nuremberg, which publishes a widely used allowance guideline, explicitly calls paying for school supplies out of allowance a misuse. The exception is a budget allowance from 14 that you deliberately increase to include school materials.
Who pays for a kid’s phone plan?
You pay for the basic plan – it is in your name anyway, because minors generally can’t be held to a contract. Extras like in-app purchases, more data or a music subscription come out of the allowance. From 14 you can turn phone costs into a fixed amount in a budget allowance, and your teen manages it.
Gifts for friends – kid or parents?
Until about 10, you pay for the birthday party gift and your child can add something. From 11, a small gift out of allowance is good practice – $5–10 is noticeable on $40 a month, but doable. Bigger gifts stay with you. If your child takes over gifts, raise the allowance by what they cost over a year.
Can I deduct fines or damages from allowance?
You can, but it does more harm than good: the Nuremberg guideline explicitly advises against cutting allowance as a punishment. If your child damaged something on purpose, a contribution makes sense – as an agreed installment over several weeks, not by stopping the allowance.
What is a budget allowance?
A fixed amount teenagers from about 14 get on top of their allowance to manage specific needs themselves – clothing, phone extras or eating out, for example. You work out what you spend on it in a year, divide by twelve and pay it monthly. Your teen then decides whether to buy two pairs of brand-name jeans or four cheaper ones.
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Sources
- American Academy of Pediatrics, HealthyChildren.org – Kids & Money: Help Your Child Learn Good Financial Habits
- MoneyHelper (UK) – Pocket money and saving
- City of Nuremberg Youth Welfare Office – “Die Taschengeldfrage” (budget allowance, misuse of allowance, allowance not a disciplinary tool; PDF, German)
Editorial note: figures and recommendations were checked against the primary sources linked here (legal texts, professional bodies, youth services). This guide is not legal or medical advice.
